Airline Guru Gets His Skinny Way
[I:http://phila-airport-parking.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//2009/06/KerrySmith7.jpg]“Know the enemy” the ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu advised. The flying public needs to know that they have an enemy and that his name is Les LeGroom. To get up to speed on the subject of Les, it is helpful to remember that this is the man who, back in the nineties, left the sardine canning industry and had airlines falling over themselves to hire him as a consultant. It should follow as no surprise that Les’ specialty is cramming people together in undersized seats under claustrophobic conditions. Les’ background presence is once again palpable in the new aircraft deliveries taking place right now. These airplanes have the same cabin space as their predecessors, only this time they boast a significant increase in the number of seats.
No one can discredit Les LeGroom by saying he lacks of ingenuity. The airlines cannot get enough of this guy’s ideas. He always delivers the goods and does it smoothly, such as when the removal of food galleys created hardly any upset among seasoned passengers. After all, this was seen as a positive public health move, the end of gray chicken a la king. A few more seats were tucked in these nooks as though they had always been there. So full of ideas, it is like Les never sleeps and of course, he expects the same from airline passengers. Another of his expectations may come as a bit of a shock though. Rumor has it that he is urging the airlines to consider cutting back on a significant percentage of lavatory space, to make room for even yet more seating. Why waste all that space on one or two uncomfortable thrones?
What credence should be given to this chatter? As odds would have it, earlier this year an independent journalist and blogger covering a paper products trade show in Foshan, China tripped over a small display of adult diapers, their waistbands imprinted with generic airline wings. Her inquiries were quickly silenced when she answered that she was not with a Mr. LeGroom. The booth’s manager threw a tarp over the pile, saying “This prototype. No ATB orders today.” A quick Baidu search answered her questions as to who the mysterious Mr. LeGroom was and that the acronym ATB stood for Airline Travel Brief. Even the mathematically disinclined can see where this is going.
State of the art seat cushioning is Les’ favorite claim to fame on the new aircraft. New seats are now designed to emulate the thin profile of the flip down LCD screens that are supposed to keep passengers glued in their chairs, mindless of their close quarters. Something tells me that the human body is not as adept at fitting into many of the prescribed folded positions and tilts of the new seating, despite the positive press the airline spokesmen are giving it. Sitting in my flexible desk chair and carefully enacting a written description of how the new seats can recline without disturbing one’s backyard neighbor, I managed to act up my sciatica and bloody my knee on the desk in front of me.
The axiom less is more has its limitations. In this case, Les is just plain less for consumers. His vision for the future is airport terminals that look and smell like bus stations, only with a heavier security detail going on. The odd thing with people is that when you really jam them together, there is often less civility and a lot more hostility. Of course, all this is subtly being pushed on to us over a carefully measured timeframe. It may take that new proposed boarding gate installation, the Sardine Oil Sprayer (acronym SOS), to bring about a real revolution.
(A Note to Readers: After an earlier publication of this commentary, I received an email from a certain L.L. who politely informed me that I had misspelled his name. Correction: Les LeGroom should read as Less LegRoom.)